A Second Hand Emotion

Do you believe in love? That full, ‘you’re all I ever wanted and now I can’t believe that I finally have you, all my dreams are coming true’ kind of love. The kind of love that you see in movies, that no matter what happens everything will be alright. The love that has that one person who will never leave. Ever. Do you believe in it? I want to. But sometimes I can’t. Maybe it’s because I haven’t found the right person yet. Or maybe it’s because all the people who I do love keep leaving me. I find someone, I find that ‘my heart starts racing when I see your name and I have no hope when you’re in front of me’ person. And maybe I love too hard or too soon or too often. Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe it is my fault. I love and they leave. But the point is they leave. And the ones who don’t want to leave, are a million miles away. Literally. The 5am conversation people, the talk about anything people; are across the ocean, a million miles away where I can’t reach them. I heard once that love does not knock often, so when it does you have to let it in. But what do you do when it’s hurt disguised as love and you let it in anyway?