Picture It...

I want you to picture something for me. Don't question it right now, just humour me. 

***trigger warning ahead***

Picture 33 women you know and care about in some way. Your mum, daughter/s, sister/s, aunt/s, neice/s, girlfriend/s, friends. Picture 33 of them. Think about how much you love for them- some obviously more then others. Just linger on that feeling for a while, how much these people mean to you. They may annoy you at times but they all have had an impact on your life. 

Now imagine a male standing next to them. Someone who they care about, a husband, boyfriend, father, friend... See the two of these people standing next to each other. You may know some of these males, you may be friends with some of these males. 

Now imagine those men turning to the women and killing them. Some beat these women until they can't breathe on their own. Some use objects- knives, cars, kitchen utensils. Some use their bare hands. Some turn the women's  minds against them to the point they kill themselves. 

Are you disturbed yet? Have you cringed? Do you not like thinking about this? Have I just made it too personal? 

If I have, then good. 

These are the facts 33 women have been killed in Australia this year. Each of these women personally knew the person who killed them. 

 

It's easy to take a step back and say, it's just 33 women, to say I don't know them so it doesn't matter to me. But what if you did know these women? Because they are all someone's daughter, someone's friend, someone's sister. 

This is got to stop. The time is now to open up these channels of communication and say enough is enough. How much harder would you fight if it was one of those women you pictured who were amount that 33? 

Men, how would you feel if you knew it was one of your family or friends who killed one of those women you just pictured? Would that change the way you currently view domestic violence? Would that change the way you currently act about it? 

I am not trying to blame or shame anyone (apart from those who intentionally hurt others), but I am asking the question of what needs to change in your life for you to pay attention? For you to do something? For you to stand up to friends, family, mates and say 'that's not cool'. Why does it take making it personal for a change to maybe happen? 

Keep in mind, 33 is just the number of women who have been killed by a significant other. The total number of women killed in Australia this year stands at 63. Add another 30 women you know to the original 33 you pictured. 

Make the change. Be the change. Enough is enough. 

You don't need to like me. I like me.

Here's another one for you all. 

So I've taken out this new policy with myself. If I'm feeling uncomfortable with the way you're treating me or talking to me I'm gonna do something about it. Now if I enjoy your company then it will generally be to dismiss what you say and hope you get the hint it was inappropriate. If that doesn't work the first time I'm gonna tell you it was inappropriate. If that still doesn't work I will call your shit out. The way you react is entirely on you. The fun part for me is watching how you react and make an absolute fool of yourself and oh boy did I have a doosy today that I want to tell you all about. 

I was talking to a 'friend' who has been known to objectify me in the past and who has apologised for doing so. I always enter conversations with this person carefully. A conversation ensued. Objectivity ensued. I ignored it. He asked why I ignored it. I said it wasn't his place to comment. He said he didn't care he was going to comment anyway and I'd 'lost faith' in my looks. I said it didn't matter if I had or hadn't it wasn't up to him to restate whatever faith I had or hadn't lost. He said if I want to be known in the world I'd better get used to random people commenting on my body. I said people can comment all they want it doesn't mean I have to respond, hence why I ignored the comment to begin with. He made a quip about the demise of my looks. I called him on it. He called me judgemental, snooty and ignorant. Then blocked me. 

As I said, I get to laugh at the people who make fools of themselves. 

Now, even though this person won't read this (and yes there are people on my fb who know this person even though I'm not connected with him), let me make this clear. You don't get to make me comment on my body. If I want to respond to your comments I will. Cat calling me over the net is not on, not is it appreciated. Especially after I've made it clear you are not in the position to make such statements. People can comment all they want about me, I don't care what people have to say about me. But as soon as you start trying to pull me into your bullshit, I'm gonna a) call you on it and b) get the hell out of there. If you don't like it, tough luck. You don't deserve me.  

Okay, rant over. ☺️

Get angry, I don't care.

Okay, I've avoided saying anything on this so I'll say my view on this once and once only. The Bali 9 ringleaders are being led to their execution, a lot of people are saying they should be kept alive. I don't agree. Why? It basically comes down to stupid is as stupid does. These two men, who knew what the consequences would be- knowing full well Bali uses the death penalty- if they got caught, brought drugs into Indonesia. They got caught. So now they face the consequences they knew about to begin with. It's their own fault. Yes, there have been other people who have done the same thing and gotten away with it and they've been very bloody lucky. But these guys got caught. Not to mention the effects those drugs could have had on the streets and how many lives were saved by catching these guys. These two were the ring leaders, they got other people involved to knowingly break the law. If Indonesians did the same thing in our country then they would be punished in our legal system, why are we asking Indo to change their rules for our people when we wouldn't do the same for them? I'm feel for the families who will be losing loved ones, but the two men themselves only got what was coming to them. #sorrynotsorry 

Happy?

I, as a white female in my almost mid 20's get told on a daily basis through every media outlet I am privy to that I should be happy. I should be happy with the way I look regardless of what society says. I should be happy with my group of friends because I am lucky to have people around me.  I should be happy that I'm single because it means that I have the chance at finding myself and being more happy about myself. I should be happy with my life because I am alive. I should be happy to be happy because I have the chance to. And I am selfish if I don't feel that way. I am a lucky girl who lives in a lucky world so I should be happy about it. No pressure. 

This consistent insistence on being happy is driving me nuts. But how do I say that without sounding like a ungrateful, spoiled little girl? How about like this. Stop telling me to be happy. 

I am allowed to have hang ups about my body (no matter what anyone tells me I will never like my thighs being the size they currently are), I am allowed to feel lonely and in need of night time company. I am allowed to feel sad and let my personal issues get the better of me. I am allowed to feel like people are sometimes too much for me and I don't want anyone around. I am allowed to wallow in self pity. It doesn't mean I will be in that state forever, but just because I am having a bad day or I'm not insatiably ecstatic about the sunrise doesn't mean I'm not mentally stable enough to get through life (also I'm pretty sure while on my death bed I will be able to count the times I will have been insatiably ecstatic about the sunrise on one hand). 

When did our society become so hung up on being happy? I know a lot has been happening in the world that makes people want to turn away and fill their lives with the niceties. Or are we as a society still trying to achieve that elusive 'American Dream' prefect life (insert your own nationality). Or is it a little closer to home? The narcissistic nature of social media that pushes for everyone to have the better life, so- heaven forbid- nothing should be out of place and online your life should be perfect. Maybe that's what it is. You are so intent on making sure your high school rival or crush sees what an amazing time you're having without them that you make life annoying difficult for everyone else (see it sounds annoyingly spoiled, bratty and 'what about poor old me'. But tell me I'm wrong!). So you have to be happy. All the time. And so does everyone else because sharing is caring and you need to make sure that everyone else knows how happy you are so they can be just as happy as you. 

Interestingly enough there have been quite a few studies done on this exact subject. Most come to the conclusion that actually yes, playing out the perfect, care free, I'm always feeling amazing online life is detrimental to not only your mental health but the mental health of those around you. My mental health I hear you say? Yep, your mental health. You know what your life is like and pretending otherwise can be a factor in depression, anxiety, FMO syndrome (why can't my life be like I want it to be, I have to post the perfect thing otherwise everyone will know the truth, what if I miss something while I'm not online and can't let people know what I think). There have also been links to technology addiction stemming from the insistence of the perfect life. The flip side being those who see your so called 'perfect life' do get jealous and wonder if it is so easy to attain that brilliantly wonderful life you have, why don't they have it too? There must be something wrong with them if it only take a few yoga poses and beach trips to get you so terrifically high on life you're perpetually on cloud 9. Again, no pressure. 

So thank you yoga girl silhouetted against the sunrise and you free for all curly haired chick on my Instagram feed and you too, perfectly aligned spiritual colourful person to my left, I'm gonna sit here, bitch about my thighs and watch Smallville on repeat while I pray for my own superman to come bursting through the door and hope to god I wake up looking like Erica Durance (aka Lois Lane). Why? Because that makes me happy, well happy enough. 

Here we go again.

Wow, so I uh, haven't posted in a while.... Oops! 

Oh well. I'm back here again and hopefully gonna be posting more. 

Eh, let's be honest. I will post when I post and if that's almost 10 months in between postings, so be it :)