I, as a white female in my almost mid 20's get told on a daily basis through every media outlet I am privy to that I should be happy. I should be happy with the way I look regardless of what society says. I should be happy with my group of friends because I am lucky to have people around me. I should be happy that I'm single because it means that I have the chance at finding myself and being more happy about myself. I should be happy with my life because I am alive. I should be happy to be happy because I have the chance to. And I am selfish if I don't feel that way. I am a lucky girl who lives in a lucky world so I should be happy about it. No pressure.
This consistent insistence on being happy is driving me nuts. But how do I say that without sounding like a ungrateful, spoiled little girl? How about like this. Stop telling me to be happy.
I am allowed to have hang ups about my body (no matter what anyone tells me I will never like my thighs being the size they currently are), I am allowed to feel lonely and in need of night time company. I am allowed to feel sad and let my personal issues get the better of me. I am allowed to feel like people are sometimes too much for me and I don't want anyone around. I am allowed to wallow in self pity. It doesn't mean I will be in that state forever, but just because I am having a bad day or I'm not insatiably ecstatic about the sunrise doesn't mean I'm not mentally stable enough to get through life (also I'm pretty sure while on my death bed I will be able to count the times I will have been insatiably ecstatic about the sunrise on one hand).
When did our society become so hung up on being happy? I know a lot has been happening in the world that makes people want to turn away and fill their lives with the niceties. Or are we as a society still trying to achieve that elusive 'American Dream' prefect life (insert your own nationality). Or is it a little closer to home? The narcissistic nature of social media that pushes for everyone to have the better life, so- heaven forbid- nothing should be out of place and online your life should be perfect. Maybe that's what it is. You are so intent on making sure your high school rival or crush sees what an amazing time you're having without them that you make life annoying difficult for everyone else (see it sounds annoyingly spoiled, bratty and 'what about poor old me'. But tell me I'm wrong!). So you have to be happy. All the time. And so does everyone else because sharing is caring and you need to make sure that everyone else knows how happy you are so they can be just as happy as you.
Interestingly enough there have been quite a few studies done on this exact subject. Most come to the conclusion that actually yes, playing out the perfect, care free, I'm always feeling amazing online life is detrimental to not only your mental health but the mental health of those around you. My mental health I hear you say? Yep, your mental health. You know what your life is like and pretending otherwise can be a factor in depression, anxiety, FMO syndrome (why can't my life be like I want it to be, I have to post the perfect thing otherwise everyone will know the truth, what if I miss something while I'm not online and can't let people know what I think). There have also been links to technology addiction stemming from the insistence of the perfect life. The flip side being those who see your so called 'perfect life' do get jealous and wonder if it is so easy to attain that brilliantly wonderful life you have, why don't they have it too? There must be something wrong with them if it only take a few yoga poses and beach trips to get you so terrifically high on life you're perpetually on cloud 9. Again, no pressure.
So thank you yoga girl silhouetted against the sunrise and you free for all curly haired chick on my Instagram feed and you too, perfectly aligned spiritual colourful person to my left, I'm gonna sit here, bitch about my thighs and watch Smallville on repeat while I pray for my own superman to come bursting through the door and hope to god I wake up looking like Erica Durance (aka Lois Lane). Why? Because that makes me happy, well happy enough.
