up late lamenting

so i'm up at some ridiculous hour (though not to some, but definitely for me cause i has to get up at some ridiculous hour of the morning). and i get a text somewhat along the lines of this 'thanks for worrying about me, but you don't need to i'll be fine' 'your sweet, but i don't want to burden you with my problems, sorry for loosing it in front of your guys today' not the exact words, but you get the picture.

so now, my lamenting as promised in the title, my life is better when i can make people smile, that why i got into acting, i can make people smile. it really makes my day when i can see someone is happy cause of something i have done. my favourite line to hear form people 'you make me laugh'. why? smiling is contagious, if you smile at 1 person, its most likely that they will smile at someone else, and it just keeps going and gets passed all around the world. your mood instantly brightens when you see someone smile (as much as some people don't want to admit it, it does). i'm sure everyone has heard the smiling poem, if not here:

Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner
and someone saw my grin
When he smiled I realized
I'd passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile
then I realized its worth,
A single smile, just like mine
could travel round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin,
don't leave it undetected
Let's start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!

i love this and try to live by it every day. and when someone tells me that they have problems and they can't smile, i'm gonna do everything to try and help them smile.

also tangent here, the best advice i got from anyone, ever! was never think that someone else problems are worse than your own, cause different people react differently to different things, so something huge to you may be something small to someone else, and vice versa.

but my point is, whatever you are going through, you can make it through, and starting with a smile, is always a good thing. baby steps, baby steps.

heres something to make your smile. a smiley face crater on Mars!



i like making people smile, it makes me smile. :)

till next time
Katie
xo

Rock Climbing

so pretty much anyone of my friends back in Australia could tell you i tend not to do so well with heights. and anyone who has been rock climbing with me will be able to tell you that i'm the one whose usually down belaying people who do like to climb. and when ever i do mange to climb up somewhere high, i can't usually get back down. i distinctly remember climbing up a tree when i was about 5 and freaking out and not being able to come back down. someone had to come up and climb down with me showing me where to put my feet and everything. and yes that begs the question how did i manage to climb up if i can't find a way back down...? i can't even answer that one myself.

any way back to rock climbing, heres a bit of trivia, i have never gotten up to the top of a rock climbing wall before. i get about half way, 3/4 of the way, freak out and i'm done. then it takes a while before i can actually let go of the wall and come back down again. also it doesn't help that a couple of years ago, i was abseiling (much better than rock climbing if i had to choose) down the outside of the rock climbing center in Darwin and every time i slipped, i would hear this massive gasp, from all the people below me. not the best way to build confidence if anyone was wondering.

so the prospect of going rock climbing for one of my Au Pair meetings was a little daunting, but i was up for it. if worse came to worse i would belay anyone who wanted me too. we split into groups and was taught how to do things the way this particular center does them. then each of us got to climb and test things out. now, the first time i climbed, it was as i thought it was gonna be, i got about half way up, freaked out and came back down. i belayed for people after that, then i was asked if i wanted to climb again... i contemplated... and contemplated... then thought, as long as i try who can say that i didn't. yeah, doesn't quite make sense to me either. but, the point is i tried again. climbing an easy wall, but baby steps people, baby steps. i got half way up, started to freak out then realised i could put my foot in another position (part of the reason i freak out is because i'm sure that i'm gonna fall to my death! dramatic, but its what goes through my mind). i then got 3/4 of the way up, again started freaking out, stopped, took- several- deep breaths, found more stable positions, and kept going. finally i got to the top!!!! yay!!!!

then i had to come down, this had been the major problem for me in the past, letting go of the wall, putting my life in someone else's hands and walking down the wall. my heart started going at a million miles an hour, just taking one hand off the wall, two hands was gonna be interesting. i cheated a bit and sort of climbed down the first couple of steps. then i took a leap (metaphorically) and completely let go of the wall. oh my gosh!! i think my heart just about jumped out of my chest after that happened. but i got down nice and safe, and i cannot tell you how good the ground feels after. but i had done it! i had gone to the top of a wall for the first time!!! i was so excited and so proud of myself for being able to control my fear enough to achieve my goal!!

i might do it again, and i think next time will be slightly easier, maybe... but now that i know that i can actually do it. i'm very happy!!!!


(our whole group after rock climbing, Me, Anna (Russia), Chloe (France), Stephanie (Sweden), Brenda (my LCC), Fine (Germany- pronounced Fina), Alma (Bosnia), Iva (a friend of mine from USA- pronounced Eva)

till next time
Katie
xo
:)

Peter and the Wolf

so last night we performed Peter and the Wolf. it was so much fun!! we were all kinda a bit nervous, cause a lot of what we were actually doing was structured improv. meaning we were on stage, going 'okay, i know i have to be over there by this point in the music, but how i'm gonna get there is another question all together, and is to be decided as i go.' so granted we were all freaking out that we were going to mess up in the middle of it. that and we'd only had one rehearsal with the orchestra, and that was slightly different to what we had been practicing with, some parts were longer others were shorter, all in all, very much winging it throughout the whole thing. we got through it though, which was incredible, we all had so much fun, and one of our cast deserved a medal!! Paola, who was our blue bird, sprained her ankle (we think, it may be actually broken... we hope not!) during her first solo, not even 2 minutes into the 20 minute production. she was going to just drop out and not dance on it, but then she realised that it would ruin the whole thing, cause the bluebird id like the second biggest role in the piece, so she danced the entire piece on a hurt ankle. she was such a trooper and half the cast didn't realise she had hurt her ankle till when we were backstage helping her walk. Paola was incredible, and she pretty much did everything she would have normally done too, all her jumps and leaps that would have been killing her all through out the dance.

apart from that, everything went really smoothly, there were a lot, and i mean a lot of kids there and they got into the story so well! i was told after wards that when the duck (me) got eaten by the wolf, you could hear this collective gasp from all the children in the audience, and many of them looked really sad. we had them laughing so much too, it was hard to be on stage and not crack up at the kids cracking up- that and we were also watching what was happening on stage, which was incredibly funny!

and then something happened that made me just go 'awwwww!', it was after the show, we'd taken all the set back and most things had been packed up. there was still a couple of people around, we were at the food table getting something to eat. i was getting some lemonade, and i hear, somewhere from my right, 'duckie!' it was so cute!!! but all in all it was an awesome show, we had tons of fun and we are so proud of everyone!!!

till next time
Katie
xo

okay, sorry about those last couple of posts. i was not having a good day. party cause things have been so stressful and will continue to be until the 1st of may is over. why? cause i have so many things i'm doing and preparing for. tomorrow (friday the 16th) i'm performing in a rendition of Peter and the Wolf, and now that show time is so close, i'm kinda freaking out. and i only have 2 weeks till my final performances for my classes, so again freaking out about that too. but bad day aside it has been pretty good of late. i found a sewing machine that i can use (YES!) and its fairly easy to work as its only a couple of models up from my one back in Aus. so i'm happy about that, i got my costume started, though i've got a bit to do before i finish, but thats not worrying me too much, it still amazes me how much you can actually do in such a short amount of time. :)

okay off to do more work. :)
till next time
Katie
xo

New Song

Found a new song i think you will like. Quicksand by Bethany Joy Galeotti
its featured in the opening episode of the seventh season of One Tree Hill and its awesome!

Quicksand
I'd like to say I make good use of my time while you've been away
And it's true
I've been at my piano everyday thinking of you

They talk around
I hear them whisper
It's the funniest thing really
They think you're gone forever
I know the truth
It's just getting hard to believe it

And they all tell me it's over
Even the stars are aligned
And I

I follow the sign so clearly and still I fall in
The quicksand's pulling me down
I follow the sign so clearly and still they catch me
The quicksand's pulling me down

I'm not the same
I can't sleep nights and now I'm calling your name when I do
And yet without you they say I get on better
Better
Better

When they all tell me it's over
I'll damn the Gods until the stars are aligned
And I

I follow the sign so clearly and still I fall in
The quicksand's pulling me down
I follow the sign so clearly and still they catch me
The quicksand's pulling me down

Look at my life and look at my face
Can't you see my heart bleeding down my sleeve

You're holding my hand and holding my heart
But I just wanna feel your breath inside me so I can breathe

Somewhere in the distance I catch a spark
A grace
A hope
Something that makes me feel like I'm alive

It's never too soon
It's never too late so I start screaming out
I see your face
I see your hand reaching down and I yell to you
And I say

I follow the sign so clearly and still I fall in
The quicksand's pulling me down
I follow the sign so clearly and still they caught me
The quicksand's pulling me down

I follow the sign so clearly and still I fall in
The quicksand's pulling me down
I know you can feel me rising
And I'm on fire but they keep on pulling me out
Out

Look at my life and look at my face
And look where I've come to get to this place with you

Sitting there at your feet and rest in your arms
And listen to your heartbeat
Ah Ah

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

:) this makes me smile.
Katie
xo

consider yourself lucky

To; people who work full time jobs,
consider yourself lucky if you get to come home from your job and just relax without having to worry about making an impression on you boss 24/7, worrying about what you have done wrong when your boss comes home annoyed or if you have done everything they wanted right. consider yourself lucky that 'off work' means to completely let go of everything that happened at work and unless you are working at home you don't need to think about. consider yourself lucky that when you come home from work you can sit on the couch and turn on the tv, or do what ever your routine is at your own pace. consider yourself lucky that you have a place to that that isn't your bedroom, that you feel horrible about the fact thats its a mess, and your supposed to be keeping the house clean. consider yourself lucky that you can come home from you job full stop.

thank you, and remember consider yourself lucky.

okay rant over, sorry not having a very good day today. :/

till next time
Katie
xo

Homesickness

okay, so i get this question a lot. what about homesickness? do you get it? have you got it now?
this can be an interesting one to answer depending on who i'm talking to. if i'm talking to most people (friends of my host family, people who i don't really know) i'll say,

'yeah i get, but it comes and goes and thankfully i have a wonderful family around me to help me through it. and with all the technology these days, both my sister and mum are on facebook and my dad just got hooked up to the internet at work so he can now talk to me as well. so its not that big of a deal.'

and yes i pretty much have that speech down to a T after 6 and half months. if i'm talking to any one that doesn't fit into this category (you, some of my friends back in Aus, close friends here, or my acting class- we're a very open group) i would say something along the lines of...

'it gets horrible at times. i put on a happy face cause i know that this is hows its gonna be if i move over here for good. but really there are times when i am ready to get on the next plane back to Australia when i hear about things that have happened or to simply for a hug from one of several people. i can rant and rave as much as i want about how much i miss home and how different things are over here, and how there are times when i don't want to be where i am, but what it really comes down to is love. its corny but for people who knew me back in Aus, i was a hugely affectionate person (just ask my mum about 'tall hugs' and you'll get the picture) and over here i don't get that much affection from people. part of it is me, i don't quite trust anyone (maybe one or two people) enough to let them through my exterior and get to my affectionate side, but really is it too much to ask for a hug? this is when the homesickness kicks in, i would get hugs from everybody, hugs from my family at least thrice daily and from everyone else who knows how many times. so basically i'm lonely, not in the sense of i don't know people cause i do, i could be out every weekend, and most of the week if i wanted to be (then again i've never really been a party girl), i just need more hugs.'

so now that i've got all of that out, i hope that answers some of the questions about homesickness. i can tell you now, a lot of answers people get to questions they ask me about personal and heartfelt stuff- unless they have my complete trust and faith, they will get a generic, memorised answer. 'yes, things are fine, there are ways around it, and i have many things to distract me' well, 'no things are not always fine, there are ways, but they don't substitute for the real ting, and i'm constantly thinking about things/people i have left behind in Aus'

til next time
Katie
xo
PS. Mum, Dad, Becca, Georgia, Katie, Daniel, Ballerina, Matt, Amber and everyone else back in Aus, i miss you so much! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo :)

A Day Without Shoes

so April 8th, officially the day to go without shoes.
if you have no clue what i'm talking about go to www.toms.com and there will be everything you need to know. if you can't be bothered, think of the phrase 'its hard without shoes' and use your imagination.


so i started the day with no shoes (i had socks cause its freezing here in flag- there are still remnants of snow here and there), went out side to warm up the car, with no shoes, and of course on my way back in i stood on a rock. it hurt so bad. it then really hit home to me about how much this means to people all over the world. i grew up in Australia and was pretty much never in my shoes, so when i first heard about this i thought it was gonna be easy. i used to do it all the time, what so different about now. what i hadn't realised is spending a winter in Flagstaff changed everything. cause my feet were in shoes the whole, time they had 'softened up'some would say, but also i got used to wearing shoes everywhere and always being comfortable with what i was standing on. so standing on the rock, opened my eyes to what it must be like for people living without shoes constantly. i then took the little girl i look after to school, i drove bare foot and then took her to her class bare foot. i got some odd looks, but if i can help with a good cause i will do what i can. i spent most of the day bare foot, i watched tv bare foot, i was exercising on the elliptical bare foot (that got interesting, cause i normally wear inserts in my shoes, but for a good cause), i picked up kids from school bare foot, there were some points where i did have to wear shoes, but i tried as hard as i possibly could to not wear shoes for as much of the day as i thought i could get away with.


how did i find out about this you my ask... well i'm a frequent visitor to my twitter page and i one person i follow is justjaredjr, gossip sites yes, but its how it came to my attention that this was taking place. also many celebrities have endorsed this movement as well; Kristen Bell, Brittany Snow and the Jonas Brothers just to name a few. and again i found it through them also (mainly Joe Jonas tweeting about toms shoes and then the campaign.) i highly recommend that everyone does it next year, or simply just in their own time. go some time fully without shoes, and them imagine what it would be like to live with no shoes at all. its really eye opening. also if you can buy some toms shoes, they are doing a fantastic thing where if you buy a pair then toms shoes will donate a pair to a child in need. i am getting a pair- i have seen some really great designs that people have done themselves and have been inspired. so do what you can to help. i know there are a lot of charities out there, but this is a really good one. :) till next time. katie xo

Easter and News

okay, so whats new.
we had easter, that was fun. i went down to Sedona again, then to Scottsdale for Easter Sunday lunch/dinner (linner?). and the craziest thing happened! the earthquake that hit Northern Mexico, we felt it! i thought i was going insane, i was sitting down and all of a sudden felt everything moving,like i was going to faint or was getting vertigo/ seasickness. i started freaking out cause i had to drive back to Flag from Camp Verde later that day. (also seasickness in the middle of the desert, thats a new one...)the whole thing lasted 30- 45 seconds but it felt so long! after it happened i thought okay, i'm just gonna sit here for a little bit so i don't get up and fall over. then someone came out of the house and said there had just been an earthquake. man was i relieved to here that! we all went inside where CNN was turned on, and sure enough they were reporting on breaking news of the earthquake. also as i walked past the pool, you could still see little waves rocking back and forth. it started out as a 6.9 and was later upgraded to a 7.2. it was absolutely crazy, i have felt an earthquake before but not one this big!! granted in Australia we are just about smack bang in the middle of a tectonic plate so we don't get very many earthquakes at all, we mainly just get the edges of ones from around us.

anyway back to easter, they do thing slightly differently over here, again. instead of hiding easter eggs (the straight chocolate ones, you know you find the missed ones melted 3 days later), they have plastic egg shells (think of the shells inside kinder surprises in an egg shape) that they put candy and fun stuff in and hide them. then they reuse them the next year! or leave them out for the easter bunny to stuff and hide the next year :) so not used to that! but it was all fun none the less. funny story, when we went out to hide the eggs, we got a shock. it was 6am, we were in the living room putting shoes on to actually go outside, and all of a sudden the kids walked out of their rooms! not good. thankfully we made up a convincing story about both of us going for a walk (their mum usually goes for a walk in the morning so they bought that one fairly easy), though the entire time we were talking to them, i was tying my shoe as slowly as possibly, praying that the kids didn't realise that i was still in my pjs, and obviously not actually going for a walk. it was very funny! then one of the kids cracked us all up non stop the entire hunt, she was squealing in excitement every time she found an egg. it was hilarious! all in all a really good weekend. and now i'm official welcome girl of our group. making sure people are welcomed and make to feel at home. this will be fun!
till next time.
katie xo

First Friday Art Walk

okay, so as i said i would update this often (and a really big one is coming soon as i finish up my big 'updates' that have come from facebook.) anyway, First Friday Art Walk. this takes place- if you haven't noticed- on the first Friday of every month. artists from all over flag get to show off their pieces and in some cases even sell them. i knew about it as i had to be there to pass out flyers for our performance of Peter and the Wolf (more on that later), but i forgot (well knew but totally didn't make the connection) that a friend of mine was one of the people putting on a show of her work. i was rehearsing P+W at the Human Nature Dance Studio, and Fredrica was there getting ready for that night. and clunck! the penny dropped. i know, i know. but still it was good cause we were talking about how some dancers i know would be performing that night as well. Fred then asked if i wanted to be apart of the night and dance as well but i preferred to play my guitar and sing. so i did, and it was fun! though hectic. i got to heritage square to pick up the flyers i needed to hand out, then went to Human Nature Studio while passing out flyers along the way, then had to leave the studio after watching one dance piece to go to church (we have fellowship on Friday nights), then go back to the studio, sing and watch another dance piece that went for about 20 minutes. that was interesting but about 15 minutes in i was a bit like, okay when is this gonna end? the piece was good though, it kinda reminded me of a wind in the willows, theme... two people who are madly in love, but they push each other and constantly leave a path of destruction where ever they go. but because they love each other it doesn't really matter and you still care for the characters even though they are horrid. it was odd in a weird way... don't ask about that sentence... all in all it was a good night, i wish i could have performed more (i only ended up singing one song) but it was still really good. and tomorrow i've gotta be up nice and early to go down to Sedona for easter. fun, getting up early... not.